When I was growing up, my momma and I would drive around the neighborhood and come up with suggestions for how our neighbors could improve the “curb appeal” of their homes … different paint color, plant some flower beds, add some shutters. We dubbed ourselves the “Neighborhood Home Improvement Committee” (self-appointed, of course), with a membership of just us two. It was never done with spite or malice – it was just a fun way for the two of us to spend time together and be creative.
My mom was so good at creating a lovely living space out of – well, not much. She was refinishing cast-off furniture long before DIY was cool, and she taught herself to reupholster furniture so she could afford to update the living room. I remember her Singer sewing machine whirring late at night while she made new slipcovers for the armchairs. She taught me that when you washed them, you put them back on the chair wet and let them dry, otherwise you would never be able to wrestle them back on. Who knew? Our home never had expensive things, but they were classically simple and meaningful. From the antique side table that my parents bought from an estate sale when they were newlyweds, to the hand-made dining room table that their best friend crafted for mom for her birthday, our house was full of special things. And it was full of love — even if the bank account was never full, it just didn’t seem to matter.
Yep, Momma had a creative spark from ‘day one.’ Even HER mother told her that she should go into interior design – this advice coming from the youngest of eight children who was forced to quit school in the eighth grade to work on the farm in Ohio. I don’t know where my Mimi got it, but she had a great eye for design coupled with a German sense of frugality (now THAT was in her DNA — she could shop a sale like nobody else!) My mother remembers my grandmother coming home from an afternoon of shopping, proudly showing off her receipts and adding up “all of the money” she saved. My grandfather would just hold out his hand and say, “Wonderful, can you hand over all the money you SAVED?” With a “harrumph,” she would march off to the bedroom to put her new loot away. Even his teasing didn’t lessen her pride in her skill to NEVER pay full price for anything!
Mimi’s world was just bigger than the world she lived in. She had an insatiable appetite for learning and read more about art and literature and culture and religion than almost anyone else I know. Somehow, in the late 60’s when careers for women were pretty much limited to teaching, nursing and secretarial, my grandmother dreamed bigger for my mother. And while my mom didn’t pursue that career in design, she certainly found myriad ways to be creative her entire life. Whether cooking or baking, sewing and crafting, decorating and rearranging our bedrooms and the living room – my childhood memories of my momma are full of creativity and light.
Fast forward to today, with umpteen channels of HGTV and DIY shows – both my Mom and Mimi were ahead of their time! And it’s something I shared with my girls … for my youngest daughter, our idea of mom/daughter time was binge-watching HGTV (it takes us forever to get through an episode, because we hit the “pause” button for an in-depth discussion about design choices or roll our eyes over a husband and wife argument!) and sketching floorplans with the furniture rearranged. We love those design apps — and designing and redesigning spaces – the modern version of the “Neighborhood Home Improvement Committee.”
Many years ago, on a Saturday morning, my oldest daughter and I got ‘bit by the rearranging bug’ … one minute we were hanging out in our pjs, and the next we were pushing and shoving two rooms full of furniture around our 1500 sq. ft flat. The result was astonishing! We borrowed our upstairs neighbor and moved a loveseat to the garage, which opened up the space and positive energy. Presto! We turned the family room back into a dining room, resulting in a cozy spot for those family meals that are some of my favorite memories during those years. It’s where she sat and had her make-up done for her senior class pictures … where she had her college interviews … where she did her homework while I cleaned up the kitchen and she talked to me about her future dreams. Creating those spaces together, we created those memories together.
Skipping to another time when she came home after school and walked into her room – which she had decorated in a dark burgundy and black “urban hotel” feel, reminiscent of NYC – and declared she hated it. Instead of being annoyed that it seemed like we had JUST redecorated that room, I jumped into action with the heady buzz of a new project to tackle (you know that feeling, girlfriends!) … out went the heavy, dark wood “book-shelf/storage” style bed, in came the $99 white curlicue iron-frame headboard from the mattress store. For the walls, a pale blue paint named “Cloud.” Back to the Bed-Bath-and-Beyond sale bin for a beach-themed, airy duvet and pillow shams. Newspaper went down on the garage floor to paint the bookshelf – for the second time in three months – this time, a pale sand tone. The striped blanket we bought on the beach on our trip to Cabo was folded at the foot of the bed. And the perfect touch … a driftwood sign on the wall – befitting the theme – that said, “I love you to the moon and back.” When she saw the phenomenal result, the look on her face meant the world. While I couldn’t magically fix so many things that hurt this young girl’s heart, I did my best to make the things I COULD affect, a little bit brighter. Just like my mom, it was one of the ways that I expressed my love for my family.
And for us, the creativity bug just continued to flash its happy face. One afternoon, my 11-year-old wandered into the family room with her iPad, and showed me an entertainment bookshelf on Wayfair. She announced this one was a “way more interesting choice” than our old one. I started to laugh – she was ELEVEN – but I took one look and realized that she was right! Cleaner lines, interesting use of negative space, updated design, and … ON SALE! My own little mini-Mimi in our family of Mimis!
The sweet time together, the creative energy, the fun design discussions, and yes, the snuggles on the sofa all combine for sweetheart moments. Those moments were too few and far between, and I wish with all my heart that I had made more time to be truly present and less time working – huge regrets. But, I hope that one day they’ll look back and remember our heart connection. And, someday I’ll be the Mimi … the baking/crafting/art project/glitter grandmother for my daughters’ children. Because that apple doesn’t fall far from the tree … and this, truly, is the stuff dreams are made of.