Hey girlfriends!
I love the word “girlfriends,” probably because my journey of friendships has been a long and bumpy one. For a long time, I didn’t know what it was like to have REAL girlfriends …
When I was growing up, I moved around so much that I was constantly starting over. From kindergarten through high school I attended seven different schools (I basically moved every year and a half). While I learned how to get up to speed quickly in the classroom, the down side was that I had a hard time making friends. I didn’t really learn HOW to make friends – and how to be a good girlfriend myself — until I was in my thirties. I mean, like how to go through ups and downs together, how to fight and make up, how to treasure a good friendship, how to trust people, and most importantly, how to get past my own insecurities in order to put other people first. I was good at adapting to new situations, at playing the game to fit in. But I was always on “high alert” emotionally and on guard against being rejected. Talk about being a super sensitive child — I was so afraid of being hurt that it overwhelmed everything else. Now, here’s what I know: I was so hungry for acceptance that I let “the search for it” define me.
But luckily my journey didn’t end with my getting stuck there, and brought some wisdom with the pain. Yep, we’ve all heard so many times that “people don’t change” … you know, “leopards don’t change their spots” and “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” … but I don’t believe that at all. I believe good people can make bad decisions, and that emotional pain can make you act crazy, and – maybe most importantly – nothing good comes from making fear-based decisions. Heads up alert! I also believe that if even ONE person loves you unconditionally, it can help YOU heal your heart.
The harsh but yet beautiful reality is that no one else can heal us – we have to heal ourselves.
The love of a good friend can help give us the strength to do things differently, to move through the world with joy, to stop making fear-based decisions, and to live authentically. Because we feel loved, just as we are.
Fast forward to present … love can conquer all …
The LOVE that helped me change and grow into who I am today came from my GIRLFRIENDS. It wasn’t until I was fully in my 40’s that I learned the blessings of girlfriends. They loved me. They held me. They forgave me. They cried with me, and celebrated with me. Bottom line, they were and ARE the underlying spirit and quiet support and overwhelming expression of who I am … the joyful Amy.
Whether it’s a quick call to say “I’m thinking about you” on the anniversary of a tough day, or during “Back To School” time for a mom estranged from her daughter that sends her to her knees, or laughing together til you cry over fluffy puppy videos or a “Bitches Be Crazy” meme … girlfriends are, simply, the BOMB … the testament of my TRUTH!
I got you and you got me …
So this is part of my way of trying to make up for past loss and mistakes, of paying it back and paying it forward. If I can share positivity with my girlfriends, old and new, and you can share them with yours, and so on and so on, then the BLESSINGS OF GIRLFRIENDS will have a magical reach … the domino effect of love. And maybe there’s another girlfriend out there, like I was, who doesn’t believe in herself quite yet, and just needs a little nudge to get there.
So beautiful girlfriends, here’s your little Sparkle of Positivity for today:
“There’s no need to wait for the bad things and bullshit to be over. Change now. Love now. Live now.”
― Kris Carr (born August 31, 1971) is a New York Times and #1 Amazon best-selling author, wellness activist and cancer survivor